When we face struggles and battles, it’s easy to want to give up or throw in the towel. It’s hard to find joy when everything seems to be going wrong, yet Angie McPherson has continued to show the power of resiliency and choosing joy as she’s walked through her own battle with cancer. In today’s episode, Angie joins us to share about her journey, how she was able to remain positive (even in the difficult times when she didn’t want to), and what encouragement she would share with someone going through their own hard times.
This is Season 3 Episode 3 of Here’s the Tea with Akua
Here’s the Tea with Akua is a safe space to learn about hot topics, gain a new perspective and have a greater understanding of the people around us. You’ll hear amazing stories of everyday people like you and me. They’ll be spilling the tea and giving us an honest look into their lives. As we discuss topics such as race, relationships, mental health, and how to just figure out the thing called life, we’d love to have you subscribe on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or your favorite podcast player!
Today’s episode is brought to you by Ama and Akua, a mother-daughter brand specializing in gift boxes filled with talented BIPOC and LGBTQ+ creators. No matter the occasion, we have a box for you. Use the code AKUA10 for 10% off your first order!
Important Parts of the Conversation:
Get to Know Angie (2:00)
Being Positive (3:20)
Handling Hard Things (3:52)
Motivation to Just Keep Going (9:30)
Navigating Constant Mental Battles (15:10)
Sharing Her Cancer Story (19:20)
Pursuing Joy & Resilience through Struggles (22:17)
Having Self Compassion (25:21)
Finding Inspiration (28:23)
Encouragement (31:08)
Grateful Exercise (33:02)
Connect with Angie:
https://www.instagram.com/angiejanine/
Subscribe to the Podcast:
Review the Transcript:
Akua Konadu
Hey, welcome back to another episode of here’s the T with Akua. And I’m so excited to have Angie McPherson here with us today as we dive into a powerful topic that resonates with us all. Now if you do not know Angie, I can confidently say that after this episode, you are just going to love her. Angie is a branding photographer, marketing strategist and an exceptional height woman dedicated to helping entrepreneurs elevate their personal brands. Not only that she’s also a loving wife, devoted mother of two and an inspiring breast cancer survivor who chooses joy and gratitude each and every single day. And that is exactly what we’re going to be talking about. We are talking about resiliency and choosing joy. And she shares with us her personal journey of being diagnosed with breast cancer. She opens up about the challenges she faced and the moments that tested her resilience. We explore just how Angie navigated the delicate balance between acknowledging and accepting hard emotions while still actively choosing joy as a driving force in her life. So get ready as we embark on a journey of resilience, joy and unwavering determination. And we’re going to be sipping on anything during this episode, it will be Andy’s wisdom experiences, and gaining insights into how we can navigate life’s challenges with grace and joy in the midst of adversity. So without further ado, let’s dive in. Welcome to here’s the tea with Akua. That’s me, and this is a place where we have candid conversations about various hot topics. Each week, you’ll be hearing some amazing stories of everyday people like you and me. There’ll be spilling the tea and giving us an honest look into their lives. I believe that our stories are powerful, and when shared they can change not only our perspectives, but also our lives. No topic is off limits. So have a seat and get ready because we are going to be making uncomfortable conversations comfortable. Hello, Andy, how are you doing? I’m good. How are you? Good. Thank you so much for being with us today. I’m so excited to talk about just resiliency and choosing joy. I think you know, life has its many ups and downs. And just the way that you’ve navigated so many challenges and been so open and honest about your own personal journey has truly been been beautiful to see so I was like, we’re gonna have to get Angie here now.
Angie McPherson
Thank you for having me. I feel like this is such a good conversation for you and I just feel like we I don’t know I really connect with you we really vibe well. You know, when we’re in person, we’re like shoot memories. So I’m like I’m down for this conversation like I’m really glad for this conversation. So thank you for having me.
Akua Konadu
Yes, absolutely. Well, let’s just let’s just hop on in because any first of all, I just want to say this if you first of all you’re about to get to know Angie real good after this episode. Okay. Number one, but to when you meet her just a beautiful ray of light, like her energy just full of so much joy and I’m not being overdramatic, I am a sixth on the anagram I’m not a positive person. Okay. But when I was Angie, so he gets it he gets it. So when I met you, I was like, I want to be more positive.
Angie McPherson
Girl you are a ray of sunshine.
Akua Konadu
Oh my gosh, thank you sometimes I’m just like my mind. Like I said like a six just you know, always catastrophizing, everything. So that’s me. But so I really wanted to ask this have you just growing up? Have you always been somebody who looks at the situation, like any type of situation on the brighter side? Like how did you naturally handle things, when things got hard growing up, you know,
Angie McPherson
growing up, I when I think back I have a horrible memory, I will say that horrible memory, but I do remember like how I feel how I felt in a lot of situations. And I remember having a lot of anxiety growing up, just like constantly worrying about things like I would worry, I’m not even gonna speak them out loud, because I would just like, worry about things they’d be in my mind. And then as I got older, and like, you know, just more mature and meeting different types of people and like, you know, going to church and having conversations and, and just like reading it, I started to get more of this confidence that things are gonna be okay, that life is gonna be great. And then I, you know, as long as I, you know, do what I need to do and, you know, pray to who I pray to and all that I was like, okay, life Life is good. And so, you know, back in the day, like I said, a little bit anxiety, but as I grew up and got older, especially when I got married, had kids, it was like all the anxieties, of course I have anxiety about my kids, but you know, I was just like on the right like on on the journey ready, you know, to just take on this life and so I got to a point where I felt super confident and ready for it. anything and then and then boom, it’s just like, okay, breast cancer diagnosis and the flood of what I used to feel just consumed me. And it was just like, I say this all time, it was like literally a rug being pulled from under me, I was in a good season and lives, and my personal life, my family life, my business was thriving, and I was I was never thinking about health issues. You know, if I had any worries about health issues, it would be for my family, you know, my parents, my husband, my kids, my sister’s, I never ever worried about me getting sick. And I don’t know if that’s just like me being naive, or just me like putting other people first, I’d never ever thought anything would happen to me. And that’s just so crazy to even to even think about, like, you know, of course, we have our own stuff. And so when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, it was just a whole whole thing about how do I even move on every day, like, I have this in the back of my mind, I still have to run a business, I still have to be a wife and be a mom and just live this life. But in the back of my mind, it was literally like weight, just like weight on my shoulders. Like every day I would get up, do my day to day duties. And this was in like the early stages of diagnosis, when we really didn’t know what was going on. It was just you got to diagnose. You got to go to a million doctor’s appointments, you got to do a million scans, we might have to do chemo. And so I would go through every day today, I would get on Instagram and be all my typical happy, my happy self, because that’s what like when I force myself to be happy and smile, I actually feel that way. And then putting those kids down the bed and immediately will just cry, cry all evening, like on the way my bed cried on my husband. And it was like just the day to day of pushing those anxiety anxieties to the side. And just they flooded in the evenings. And so I had to come to a point where if I could not just like hold it all inside, because it would just erupt. Every night I had to be able to speak the things I was feeling I would have to be able to ask questions to the doctor. I spent a lot of time praying and reading the Bible and, you know, talking to other breast cancer survivors that are on the other side of this, it took a lot of action for me to feel okay. The first couple of weeks, there was no action. I was so depressed, I was laying in the bed, I had people doing stuff for me. And that’s when I felt all the worry and all the fear. But the more that I showed up for myself showed up for my family showed up for my business and just took action. It was so much easier for me to kind of move throughout the day.
Akua Konadu
That’s such a good point too. And I do want to say this to Fun fact, I don’t know if you know this, but I knew of you way before I met you. Okay. So you’re like this is news to me. So we never ever like crossed paths. And I just remember your story popped up on my feet. So somebody had shared it. And I think it was a real that Caitlyn James had done or something. I don’t follow her. But somebody had shared it was like on Instagram stories or something like that. And I was like, I remember looking at your story. I was like, Oh my gosh, she’s the most beautiful smile. And so I was like, What is this about? Like, it was just I remember it was like clips of you and Caitlin just like having fun or whatever. And I didn’t know who Caitlyn Jenner was either at the time. Oh, like, and like it was a little commentary. I right clicked. And then I saw it. And I was like, holy smokes. And I just saw that we met at United. And I was like, she’s the best person in the world. But I don’t want to tell her that I kind of knew of her before I met her. Because I didn’t want to be a creep.
Angie McPherson
Oh my gosh, you’re sweet. I was like, Oh my gosh, this girl’s like a ray of sunshine. I want her energy all around me like,
Akua Konadu
well, just even hearing what people were saying about you when you weren’t in the room. Also to just spoke like truly to your character and who you are. And so just hearing as well just like kind of getting a little bit of an inside glimpse. I find that really interesting that you said when you were doing things, yeah, getting up and moving and doing those things. That’s where kind of that worry was just not placed on you. But when you were not doing anything and people were doing everything for you, that just really aided moreso in your depression and your anxiety. And so I Yeah, and I find that really interesting, but I find that do you feel like in certain areas to just how you just had no choice that you just were like, I have to do this because I have a family because I have kids I have other business? Did you kind of feel that as well? Kind of is what motivated you to just keep going? Yeah, absolutely.
Angie McPherson
My there’s something about me and how, what I do for my kids, we’re very active family. I love taking my kids out to the park, to theme parks. We’re just always doing something. We’re at the farmers market every Saturday and my kids are used to that. It’s like a blessing and a curse because sometimes if I just want to chill, they’re like Mommy, what are we doing today? And I’m like, Oh my gosh, like can we just have a day to chill? And so when all this is happening, like I had, you know, I had surgery, I had to do five months of chemo and so Oh, chemo really lasted from like April to August, like all the fun months, and like the warm weather and the beach. And I just wanted to like I did chemo like once a week and I wanted to do chemo, come back and just lay in my bed and do nothing. And my kids will be jumping on me like, when are we going to Busch Gardens, I want to ride roller coasters. And it forced me to get up. And I know it’s not the same for everyone. Like, if someone’s going through that, of course, they have every right to just do whatever they want. And that can just be laying in the bed for five months, that’s fine. But for me, I knew that if I got up if I physically got up, got out of the house, even when I was in pain, and my stomach was turning and my head was aching, and my body was just like, you know, ransacked with you know, with chemo, I still would like Get up, take the kids to Busch Gardens, like my husband worked, I would take them by myself to Busch Gardens, go on rides with them, we would go to the beach. And, you know, I just kept thinking, like, I’m so glad I did this. Because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t be in the bed all day and just feeling just so bad for myself. And it’s just like, you know, cancer is not a death sentence. You know, I if I did nothing, I would be telling myself you’re done. Like you’re done. Like, go back to bed, do your chemo, try your best, but you’re done. But I was telling myself that you’re here right now. And you need to enjoy it right now. And that’s what really got me to be able to get out of that funk. Out of that depression is just like literally removing myself, like rejecting rejecting what was happening. My body was done. I felt horrible. And I rejected that. I was like, let’s go. Let’s go to the beach. And let me tell you what I laid on the beach. It was like I felt nothing. It was the craziest thing I booked like a seven day trip to the Outer Banks for me and my family. The week that I knew my hair was going to come out. She kind of told me during your third or fourth dose, your hair is going to come out in clumps. And so I had my my husband buzz, my head the date, the day she almost didn’t want to do chemo. I didn’t start yet he buzzed it because I didn’t wanna lose it. And it wasn’t this cute little girl. It was like cute. It was real cute. I
Akua Konadu
saw that. I saw that story too. I’m not gonna lie. I was watching. I was watching from a distance. It was like, Okay, girl, you look good.
Angie McPherson
And the low maintenance about the look. And so he told me like, Yeah, this is cute, but you’re gonna go ball ball, like it’s gonna, it’s gonna come out in clumps. And so I booked a trip to Nags Head for the week that I was going to come out because it was like I was rejecting it. Like, okay, I can either sit at home and clean my shower out every day after the water hits my hair, or I can get a beach house and accent and let that hair fall out in the Nags Head shower. And then and that’s it. It was like I was leaving all of that stuff there. I was leaving the drama, the heartache, all that stuff there, put out there. And then when I came home, you know, back to business. So and I find myself doing that every time like something sad happens, or I’m going through something I’m just like, how can how can that? I don’t know if reject is the right word. But just like how can I turn this around and just make a happy moment so that I my whole like when I think of that summer, I don’t think chemo chemo chemo, I think we went to next as we went to Busch Gardens, my kids and I went on long walks and went to the beach. That’s what I want to be thinking about. I don’t be thinking about five months of just laying in the bed and going to the cancer center to the chemo.
Akua Konadu
So much goodness that you have shared. And maybe I don’t know if you realize it or not. But yes, you obviously had a very detailed plan of your treatment plan to with fighting cancer. But you also took parts of your treatment into your own hands as well, which I think just aided as well in just building that resiliency building that joy. Like I think rejecting me to that like that is such a good way to like I’m not carrying this nonsense back with me I’m not carrying and I’m because I feel like as well like mentally too. It’s a lot of preparing yourself as well for what you’re going through. And so you’re just like I let this all go here in this moment. And I’m going to move forward no more with the weight or the burden of this and I think that’s just amazing to hear how you were still that you your memory is not a summer full of cancer. It’s like what the joys and the memories that you built with your family and getting to do these things that brought you joy. And I love what you said to even just sitting out in the sun and you just didn’t feel anything and you just felt like Angie, which I love that that is Oh, that is so good. Now I’m gonna go on a damn trip because I was like, Okay, girl. Time I’m sad. Happy trip.
Angie McPherson
Leave it, leave it there.
Akua Konadu
Leave it there. Oh, that’s such such a good thing. And so I wanted to ask you to how did you navigate as well just like the constant because I know I think for myself, just anything that I’m going through when I’m going through a hardship Should it mentally it’s a battle internally, constantly that you’re having to choose. So how are you navigating that as well? What were you doing?
Angie McPherson
It’s very easy for me to internalize things. And that’s what raises that anxiety is when I’m just in my head. And it’s just, I’m talking to myself. So my husband actually actually recommended it. I wasn’t even thinking about it. He was like, You should probably like get on the phone with people who have gone through this, you know, because we knew somebody close to us who had gone through it. And he was like, Why don’t you call her you know, and see, and see if she wants to talk. And so I called her and she was way on the other side of it, she was walking me through her experience with surgery with, with treatment and things like that. And that was a good conversation. And I was like, oh, man, I want I want more of this, I want more of these conversations I want, every time I would hang up, it was like they it was like the weight was just coming off a little little by little, because I could see the other side of it. And so I would literally go on Instagram and just click the hashtag, breast cancer, chemo, you know, breast cancer under 40, things like that, because I was 33 at the time. And I randomly was just sending messages to other survivors, watching their stories, watching their highlights watching their reels, some of them would just give me their phone number, and we talked on the phone, and it was just so healing. Even these people were strangers, it was so healing to be able to see their story and to just, you know, I don’t know, I didn’t know anything about cancer other than what I’d seen on TV, you know, what I’ve seen in TV shows and movies. And to see these real people that have gone through it, seen them at, you know, chemo, and then a couple months later, they’re at their kids soccer game, and then seeing them in the hospital getting a surgery. And then a couple years later, they’re you know, sitting on a stage somewhere else, like, wow, these people like these people are living like they’re living. And that was my thing is like I want to live like I don’t want to just be alive after this I want to live. And so seeing them do that really motivated me to share my own story. So that’s how I was like, let me pick up a camera, tell people what I’m going through. And the more I shared, the more I had people like me, come to me, Hey, can you tell me about chemo? Can you tell me about radiation? Can you tell me about the type of options that gave you for your specific cancer and I would hop on the phone with people who are in the very, very early stages. And I feel like it was healing for all of us just to be able to have those conversations. So the way I navigated was just outward, like sharing my story, talking to people helping people. Yeah, that was pretty much how I navigated through and still do I still get a lot of DMS about it.
Akua Konadu
Wow. Oh my gosh, that’s, there’s also to a level of bravery, right? Like people don’t if people I’m introverted, and I’d have no problem reach out to people in the DMS. But sometimes I tell other people maybe who aren’t in the industry of like creative industry, you know, reaching out people in the DMS who are like you would do that, like, you know, some people are like, say, like, I could never do that. And I’m like, there’s some level of bravery there just to be able to take a chance and reach out to people that you know, are going through the same thing that you’re going through and the fact that they were able to literally find like, immediately as if like they’ve known you for a long period of time. Yeah, that’s that’s such a beautiful, beautiful thing. Looking to make a lasting impact with a meaningful gift, look no further than Amana Chua. As a mother daughter business, we specialize in providing gift boxes filled with products from talented bipoc and LGBTQ plus creators, whether it’s a birthday anniversary, or simply just because a Monica has the perfect gift for any occasion, visit our website Amana to a.com. And don’t forget to use the code Akua 10 at checkout for 10% off your first order. Start creating your unforgettable gift experience today by exploring Amar and Akua at a mA and akua.com That’s a dot com. Now let’s get back to the episode
Akua Konadu
you were pretty much just doing anything that you can to to take care of yourself. And I think that’s just so beautiful. And I I’m curious to know, too, like you mentioned sharing it on social media, like what was your feeling when you were creating that first post? And how are you how are you feeling throughout that and then like hitting share and then seeing your story just spread?
Angie McPherson
Yeah, you know, I I’m an Enneagram three, type a very extroverted so it took a lot for me to even share in that vulnerability. I just had this thing where I’m like, I don’t want people to think I’m weak. I don’t want people to think I’m like asking for help. Like, it’s just, it’s something I have to work out in therapy with my therapist. Like I just, I don’t like I’m finally being vulnerable, but I don’t like feeling weak or looking weak. And so that was that was something for me to really get over and I was like, the first time I was getting feedback from people saying oh my gosh, I’m glad Just share this because I have had a lump, and I’ve just been sitting on it. And this motivated me to get a mammogram. And some people said, you know, This motivated me to go and I just found out that I have cancer because I saw your story, and then it pushed me to go get checked out. And so I had to look at myself, like, girl, you stop being selfish, like get out of your feelings. Because the more that you hold this together, the less people that are going to be impacted by it, the less people that might, you know, need to go to the doctor will see it. And so I have to, like, Get out of my feelings and think about the bigger picture. And think about what people have done before me, you know, that helped me to go to the doctor, because I sat on this for two months. And I’m like, if I never would have gone to the doctor or felt like, you know, like, felt brave enough to speak up to my doctor, like, I don’t know where I would be right now. You know, and so I don’t want someone else to feel like that. I don’t want someone else to be sitting behind their phone, struggling and thinking, Oh, it’s fine. Maybe I’ll be okay. Like, no, I want them to see like, go, you know, go to the doctor, pray everything’s fine. But don’t just sit at home and, and just worry for the next five years, like actually take the action and go. And if it’s fine, great. And it was not, thank God you went because you can go and handle that now. So that’s what kind of motivates me to continue sharing and stop being so in my fields and everything.
Akua Konadu
Oh, okay. I literally think of when I just outwardly like you’ve like everything that you’ve done has been very out like your everything. And I love that I think stop being selfish. I think that is such a thing that really just stuck out to me with you saying that because we do get so caught up in ourselves, especially when we’re going through a hard time. And it’s when we serve others is when it really puts things into perspective for you, and where you’re able to figure out the next step of how to navigate whatever situation that you’re going through. And so I love that. And I this, I wanted to ask this to you, I’m really curious. So how do you navigate you know, the balance between just acknowledging and like you’re accepting these emotions of grief and sadness? But then you’re actively still pursuing the joint resilience? Like how do you navigate like, it’s balanced between those those feelings?
Angie McPherson
Girl, it is a battle. And when you say balance, it is a true balance. Because, you know, I had the, the perception of cancer was like, Oh, you do chemo, you do radiation, you’re done, you’re fine. And I had a rude awakening, you know, after everything was done, and they say, Hey, everything looks clear. I, you know, I’m on medication for the next five years. And so some of that is taking pills every morning and night. And some of that is actually going to the cancer center, I go to the cancer center every 28 days and get a shot in my stomach, I go to the same chemo chair every six months and get an infusion for three, four hours. It’s literally it’s not chemo, but it’s the same process. And so as much as I want to, like close this chapter, and just live in the joy, there’s a constant reminder, every time I take a pill every 28 days, I go to the cancer center, every six months that I go through a basically a process of chemo, that’s not chemo, just to lower the risk that this comes back. And as much as I want to close that chapter, I just can’t, I just can’t. And so it is a balance of finding the joy and also reliving, reliving the past and reliving the trauma on a cycled basis. And I just have to prepare myself. So every 28 days, I know that I’m going to get that shot in my stomach. So I try to make sure I have like a fun lunch planned, you know, with a friend, or maybe I’ll go see a movie right after, you know, it’s just like, I have to I have to infuse those bits of joy into my life to push away all like the trauma and the PTSD. Because I know for the next five years, this is going to be my life. And I’m and I’m ready for it. You know, I’m going to do do what it takes to, to balance that.
Akua Konadu
Oh, that is so I just want to say I want to be more like you Angie. Just because it’s true. Like you find so many different ways to like make sure that you’re taking care of yourself, you know what I mean? And I truly do admire that because I think some of us struggle which I said this in a previous episode, I can remember which one it was but you know, like, like I always say like you’re worthy of taking care of yourself. You’re worthy of having lunch, you’re worthy of going to movie for yourself, you’re worthy of meeting a friend and chatting it up. Like you’re worthy of those things. You’re worthy of living life. And you still consistently found different ways to experience goodness in any way that you could. And I love that it’s just such a good reminder for all of us have like, it’s it doesn’t have to be this big thing. It can be as simple as possible. The most smallest things that can really turn things around for you or really change your perspective. Like what are some small ways that you can really honor yourself? Within that season, and so that’s kind of leading to this next question, what are some other ways that you really honoured yourself as you were going throughout this process? Because I think a lot of us, let me backtrack. A lot of us were also going through a lot of hard times, we’re super hard on ourselves. Yeah. So right, like we feel shame, guilt, we’re like the negative self talk, where it just really ends up in a, an unhealthy spiral. So how did you navigate just having, like, honoring yourself and your feelings, and just having more self compassion?
Angie McPherson
Yeah, I’m doing a lot of writing, I started doing something it’s like, it’s called Morning pages, where you get up and you just write three pages of just like a stream of consciousness, like no prompts, like literally the first thing that is on your mind. And so in that, I will literally just list a ton of gratitude, like literally, you know, a couple times a week, in my morning pages, I’ll just say, here’s what I’m thankful for. And I’ll go from the very big things to the very small things, I’ll go from, you know, certain people that I’m thankful for certain situations, I’ll go, just from being able to breathe air in my lungs, and to sleep in a bed at night and, and reading constantly, the gratitude list and the things that I’m so thankful for, it just puts so much into perspective, like, Yeah, I’ve been through a lot, but that does not define me, you know, it doesn’t define me whatsoever. And these things that I’m thankful for, they have, they bring me joy, and they make me see, you know, the bigger picture. And so constantly writing it, and reading it, like I always challenge people, you know, write 100 things you’re thankful for, and it might take you a day, it might take you a month, but just have a long list of 100 things, and it’s gonna get a little difficult, because you’re going to be thinking of the big things. But once you start to get down to the small things, like, like I said, a bed and, you know, air in your lungs, and you know, food in your refrigerator, and, and people that love you like, once you start to get to the when you’re pulling stuff out, it gets so easy. You’re like, oh my gosh, like, I’m so thankful for this, like what a blessing. It is what a blessing this life is, and it makes you appreciate it more and more and want to enjoy it and live in the joy. And you know, just telling people, how you feel about them that you care about them that you love them. Like those things really kind of ground me.
Akua Konadu
That’s so good. Yes, I think like research has shown like, gratitude can help with like, depression, anxiety. I haven’t read it. So y’all please don’t take this. Like, I remember seeing it somewhere. But like, I didn’t read the full article. But yeah, but it just gratitude. I feel like it’s just such a core thing, and so many the core like solution to so many things that we go through. And again, it really forces us to look at things in such a different different way. So yeah, I love I love that because I’m a writer as well. So I journal a lot just to process my feelings and get a better understanding of how to move and navigate different things. So I love that. Super, super good. And so as you’ve gone through this journey, you’ve been an inspiration for so many people. And so has there been anybody that has inspired you, too, just keep this outlook that you have that has played a role in your journey.
Angie McPherson
You know, my, my family, my family, I have two older sisters, my mom and my dad, I just like growing up. I feel like every single one of them, you know, they’ve had stuff that’s happened, and they just, they just come out with so much joy and gratitude. And we’re all very, very close, my siblings and my parents, right. And so to see them show up for me with this, you know, with this journey, like of course, you know, when you get older, you have your own little immediate family, like I have my husband and my kids, but just to see the way my parent like I’m their baby, like I can’t imagine if something like I don’t want to speak it I can’t even imagine something happened to my babies, as an adult and just the way they were so they spoke so positively. You know, you gotta be careful who you share very intimate stuff with because they can put their feelings onto you. Like when I share with social like yes, it’s great to share on social media, but I had a lot of like negative, you know, responses in my, in my DMs people asking why in the world would you put poison into your body for chemo and talking to me about you know, reconstruction, you know, for certain like I had a lot of negative stuff as well. So it’s like you do have to like guard your heart with stuff like that. But just to know that my close family that raised me I’m the baby of two older sisters. So this happened to the baby of the family and just to see how they showed up with positivity and how can we help you and you’re going to be fine like it’s I don’t want to say toxic positivity but like it was almost that way like Oh, it’s gonna be fine. Everything is gonna be fine. And I’m like, No, it’s not, it’s not gonna be fine. But I needed that I needed somebody to tell me. Things were gonna be okay. Even if we didn’t know that I needed somebody to tell me things are going to be okay because that in day to day things are okay. Today things are fine. You know, let’s focus on today let’s focus on the gratitude and positivity and the joy of today. And so my immediate family are like, definitely my inspiration. Oh,
Akua Konadu
I love that. Just such an shout out to the fam shout out to y’all. I love that. That is that is. So it’s so important. I just think of with my own family because my mom sent me like, it’s gonna be okay. I’m like, No, it’s not. But then after having said like, she was right, and then I’m like, Sorry, mom. But I think again, just hearing that, even if it’s gonna be okay, it still provides, like some type of relief that is so needed in a certain situation. So I absolutely love that. And so as you look back to now, and what advice do you have for others that are just going through a hard time, no matter what the situation is? Is there anything that you want to share to provide some encouragement with that?
Angie McPherson
Yeah, I would say, you know, try not to internalize it’s very easy to just sit in in the mess and just be in your head. And I, I feel like just getting it out there. Whether it’s just you writing your thoughts out or speaking to somebody, like we said very close to you that can get back and hold that space for you is going to be huge, it’s going to be huge, because I’ve been through the season I’ve internalizing and it helps nobody, it’s just negative and messy, and toxic. And once you once you share, and give yourself permission to share that in any way. It’s going to help. Also, like I said, just writing as many things you’re thankful for as possible. There are hard seasons for everyone and somebody’s hard is going to be different than somebody else’s hard. But if you just sit in the gratitude and realize all the amazing things that are happening, it can push down a lot of the, the fields for you know, the not so amazing things that are happening and really just giving yourself lots of grace and being okay with not being okay. Like I had to tell myself like, Girl, it’s okay, because I don’t like to appear weak and ask for help and all that stuff. And that was a season where it took me some time to be like, it’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to and I know you want to say like, look weak, because I don’t I don’t I didn’t look weak. I look strong for dealing with all of it. But it’s okay to be vulnerable, and let people in and just to give yourself, give yourself lots of grace, and don’t expect yourself to just be okay. 100% of the time.
Akua Konadu
Yes. So, so good. I know that sounds super lame. But since you’ve highlighted a lot about gratitude, I thought we could do this, this would be really fun. Some people might think it’s cheesy, but I don’t care. But so do you mind sharing with us three things I thought we could do with each other three things that we are grateful for. So you can go first.
Angie McPherson
Okay, number one is my family for sure. Immediate family, me and my husband, he was the one that you know, I put those kids to bed and the tears came and he would just sit there and listen. And I didn’t I didn’t need him to say anything. I didn’t need him give me an opinion. I just wanted to, like, dump everything that I was thinking from the day that I was kind of masking. And I’m just so thankful for him to just like, just sit there and sit with me and listen. So definitely my family, you know, community, really in community is different for everyone that could be your, your church community, your social media community, your work community, I’m very thankful the community that I happen to have a lot of different aspects of that community. But since sharing with all, you know, sharing all of this, I’ve just seen the community step up. I mean, people were sending me meals and gift cards and Venmo stuff to pay for Starbucks, like, I am just so thankful for people that didn’t even know me, you know, that would that showed up for me in that way. And even now, I just I’m so thankful for the community that I have around me, I feel like I surround myself with really good people. And I’m just so thankful for them. Another thing I’m thankful for, I mean, the number one thing is God, like I just I’m a big believer, you know, I don’t know where my headspace would be if I didn’t have you know, the word and like, you know, the, and just being able to pray, like, you know, people believe in different things. And this is what I believe in. And I know personally, if I did not have this, I will be grasping at straws. Like, what does this mean? You know, like, I literally would type into Google, like what does God say about you know, hardship and you know, battles and things like that. And so to be able to like to read and kind of and see a bigger picture. I’m so thankful that I had that and then I wasn’t so confused. Because if I’m confused, I’m making my own stories. I’m making my own futures. And his future is way better than mine. Let me tell you that because I can. I can make up some story. Yeah. So, so thankful that, you know, I had that I have that to fall back on.
Akua Konadu
I love that. So good. Oh, let me what are your? What are your three? Okay, my three. I know I probably sound really lame right now, but I’m so grateful for my puppy Kai. So y’all. Okay, AI k, i Yes. So I haven’t shaved from the podcast yet. But I got a dog, you guys. In January, his name is Kai, and he’s a mini Aussie doodle. And I’m gonna be very transparent. I was extremely depressed before I got him. And I was just kind of like, alright, God, I need to figure something out here. We need to figure something out here. Because this the way that things right now just aren’t working. And I had been on my heart to get a dog. But I had been looking and looking and didn’t really, you know, just kind of wait. And then I saw him on a website googling just randomly Google because I was like, kind of like Tinder, I would just like, go on websites, like, look at dogs, you know, like, yes, no, like, you know what I mean? Like, yeah, and I was doing that for months. And then I saw him and it just seemed that something just said to me that that’s your dog. And I was like, that’s not my dog. I didn’t even want an Australian shepherd. And he’s a mini aussiedoodle I was like, Australian shepherds are really like neurotic and dogs. I was like, I got I’ve been bitten by one three different occasions by the same dog. So I was like, no, but he was I just felt it. And he has been brought me so much joy in my life. Like, again, when you’re focusing on something else outside of yourself. It really does put things into perspective, like and I’ve just noticed I’ve moved a little bit differently now that I have a dog to think about. So my sister was like, my mom was like, well, just wait till you have kids because it totally will change everything because yeah, like, you know, just with him, I already think differently about certain things. And like, I have a litte bit more structure. I’m getting up in the day I’m he makes me go out on walks, you know, because he needs exercise to where I’m able to have that solid to to really think differently about a lot of things. So there’s that I’m incredibly grateful for Kai. I’m super grateful for my family. They I don’t say that enough to them. I don’t think I’m gonna make them listen to this. And then they’ll be like, Oh, there’ll be like, really girl like, yeah, you know, let you know, let you know, but they’re great. I’m close with my siblings. And we’re all super close. And my mom as well. So just super, super grateful for them. And what am I grateful for? This week? I’m gonna try to think of this week. I know it sounds super small. But I was so grateful for a shake that I had at Shake Shack. Girl what flavor I met nella. It was my first time ever going to Shake Shack. And I’ve never been I’ve never been my sister went and I was like, You know what, I’m going to try it. And I just sat there in the car and just drank this shake and it brought me so much joy. I think just even like the simple things like you always have these major things. But the little things it made my whole evening having that milkshake. I need to go to Shake Shack, go to Shake Shack and enjoy yourself a milkshake.
Angie McPherson
I’ve been there. I went there actually a couple weeks ago and got burgers but I did not try the shake. Yeah, it
Akua Konadu
was my first time having a burger and a shake. But that milkshake. Just it literally. I’m a big foodie though. So that’s why food brings me so much joy. Absolute Absolutely. So I just sat there in the car in silence and just had this milkshake. And I just brought me joy. And I enjoy just being in that moment of stillness. Yeah, where I just had that shake. And I just what looks just, it’s nice. It’s nicer here in Minnesota. It’s warm out with the windows rolled down. And it was great. So those are the three things I’m grateful for. Oh, thank you. Thank you. This has been wonderful. I’ve absolutely loved this conversation. And I’m just so grateful for you again, just sharing your story with vulnerability, openness, and just allowing us to get to know more of Angie. So thank you so much.
Angie McPherson
Thank you for creating this space. I’m so thankful for you for letting me be vulnerable and open and share. So thank you so much. Yes, absolutely.
Akua Konadu
Well, I hope you all enjoyed this episode just as much as I did. And thank you so much for listening. And until next time. Thank you so much for tuning into here’s the tea with a cooler. If you are loving the podcast, I’d be so honored if you go ahead and hit that subscribe button on your favorite podcast player and leave me a review. This helps grow the podcast so more people can be impacted by the story shared by powerful guests like in today’s episode. Until next time, go make uncomfortable conversations a little more comfortable.
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